day 54

Well I did again!!!  I had a rough week!  I start good last weekend when my Mother and nieces came out for a visit.  I didn't overeat when we ate out or stayed in a motel for the night so the kids could go swimming.  I went swimming for a little while because I was holding my son.  After about an hour he got too cold to be in the water any longer.  After the weekend was over my emotions got the best of me!  I gave into that little voice that told me to eat and never stop.

Besides I was feeling homesick and upset because my husband and I had a fight.  Him being the a man could not understand why I had a hard time getting over the fight.  I'm am a true emotional eater and I proved it this week.  I eat from the moment I got up til the moment I went to bed.  It seemed like a nonstop buffet that went on all week. It had salty foods such as chips and sweet food like cookies and brownies. Of course I gain back the 4 pounds I lost last week and hated myself for it.

I only exercise one day this week after going swimming on Saturday.  I did 30mins on my elliptical machine.  I kept telling myself I need to exercise but I kept giving into that little voice who wants me to fail.

It seems like my local support has just completely gone away.  My only close friend around here hasn't been call me at all.  We use to talk at least 3 times a day but now all I get is text messages which are jokes. She also has been trying to lose weight this last year and I have always been there for her.  I just don't understand while she can't be there for me. I need as much support as I can get right now.

Not only are my emotions causing me problem or finance is causing a problem.  We are a one income family so money is very tight.  My brother-in-law has been renting out our basement to help with our money problems.  He has it very easy because my husband is only making him pay $250.00 a month without helping  with utilities.  He has been paying us since March and he kept telling us he will keep up by the end of the year.  We use his rent to pay our property taxes at the end of the year.  Well since he kept telling us that he will have us pay up by then we didn't save any extra.  We live from pay check to pay check and we are behind on some medical bill.  We are also behind on a couple of credit cards so when we have a little extra we try to give more to those bills.  Last week my husband talk to his Dad because he does the books for my brother-in-law.  He tells my husband that they will not be able to give us any money until after he does the income taxes in Feb.  Now we have to come up with $1,250 by the end of Dec for taxes.  We have to cut out trip planned to see my family in Dec for Christmas and my husband hunting trip.  Also, we will have figure a way to get Christmas gift from us and Santa for our children.  Hopefully, my husband will get some overtime but it may not happen.  With this added stress hasn't help me either!

Sorry, I haven't gotten on here lately.  I'm sorry I had to express my disappoint in myself and our situation.

April




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